Managing one’s life is a time consuming task. A skill I’m still developing. Sometimes conditions are overwhelming when you’re swimming against a tide and clamour with stolid ignorance.

Me throwing in the towel while in anguish and sheer rage of personal boundaries having been crossed, brought out nine individuals; a combination of friends & industry professionals, who understood my bigger picture, from the start, along with the how and why Anidea was created and where this fictional character is going and how it would impact and possibly influence my daily life, to remind me to focus and not quit just when we are making progress.

Letting it all lay bare

Letting it all lay bare in dry ice

Letting it all lay bare in dry ice

If it weren’t for my dearest, now no less than, seven frienemies… Actually, haters drinking haterade… I would not be so blessed with sudden new doors opening to Anidea and my mask: Natasha.

I bless these unnamed, for privacy reasons, persons for readjusting my blinders. I was on the fence about Anidea for quite some time, as it’s very hard to find projects that suit my category. Most models/ modellers in the industry want to shoot pretty and cute pictures to advertise their prettiness. And many photographers like doing that sort of thing. It’s not really my sort of thing. I’m not using Anidea to validate my level of beauty, though my ego does get fluffed every so often. It’s nice being considered a minimum “sexy” or “desirable” by the conventional mind, but I just don’t feel that assertion. It’s nice, but not my hunger.

Anidea is an outlet for my fellow brown skins to say: I’m ok with who I am, even though I’m not basic issue. I’ve received overwhelming feedback from fellow mothers, wives and regular oddballs that the existence of Anidea, somehow, gives them confidence and joy. This pleases me. I’m using Anidea as an outlet for my volcanic creativity too. Such is life.

The fundamental aim, besides garnering some dope gear/ shoes/ tattoos, is to prove that Jane Soap can do whatever the flying-duck she wants. With the exception of murder. Murder is bad. Very bad. I am art, but I aim to be living breathing art that is fluid through other people’s pictorial musings. I want my finger print on every project pie I consume. I want chunks of me carved and twisted into topical images.

I want to live forever!!!! Nya Nya Nyaaahhh!

I’ve always been a person that lived outside of social norms; I’m that person who chooses option G when jammed to choose between option A and B. It surprises me no end that many people I’ve endured making social acquaintance with try to incorporate me and mine into their Disney Dreams & life. For instance, my private life with my husband coming under scrutiny annoys me. “Good Samaritans” who have a dire need to host deliberations with my companion, based on their own unions, lifestyle and life choices.

He is not an idiot.

This is not what he wants.

This is not what he wants.

We have our own agreements and lifestyle. If you don’t know what makes us tick and you don’t know the whole story (not that we’d bother to tell it) then: Move on.

We don’t lay in bed late at night discussing friends and other couples issues. We don’t pick sides between friends at war. We kinda suck, because we are indifferent to passing on the gossip envelope. It was a journey getting to this stage, but we are good friends who will see you for who you are and let you be. Why can others not garner us the same respect?

Because it’s entertaining trying to split up a union, right?

But, I digress.

Another issue that gets me blue in the face is the inherent coat tailing by some. Basic rule with doing professional exposure through me: Pay me or “share for share”. As simple as that. One person who’s been amazing and professional is Massalo from Massalo Photography, check his work here and here. Tip: Click on the words “here”. He would never ever have to pay me for my shout outs.

Even though it is tough being a brown skin who isn’t looking for acceptance, but rather the unusual in a very controlled industry, 2014 looks to be a battle between my daytime occupancy and my alter ego. But one thing I do know is that I will not downgrade my personality or essence for mere strangers to be able to sleep better at night.

Currently I’m writing a little coffee table thing with a few other women about being different and/ or socially accepted and the pressures of both. Also busy with another project which I’ll only brag about once things are signed and monies are paid and flights are booked. I’m kinda excited.

I collabed with Dion Tromp to do an E;ements inspired set

I collabed with Dion Tromp to do an Elements inspired set

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” -Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full Of Sky

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